Misery Loves Company
by Quirky Del
Summary: She wanted them to hurt like she did.She didn't want to feel this way alone,no matter how wrong that was.Misery loves company,right'Amy is tired of always standing aside quietly, so she finally does something about it[ONESHOT][JoLaurie,AmyLaurie,JoBhaer


**Standard Disclaimer – Little Women, the whole shebang – it's all owned by someone other than me, right? **

**Author's Note – Yes, yes, I am still working on my two continuous LW stories (Washington and Friendly Relations Between Adjoining Nations) but another, yet another, angsty one shot has entered my cluttered mind and refused to release it's vice until I put it down! I hope you all enjoy it! - in a melancholy way, mind!**

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She wanted them to hurt like she did. She didn't want to feel this way alone, no matter how wrong that was. Misery loves company, right?

Dozens of incidents replayed painfully behind her eyes as the dead leaves crunched beneath her galloping boots. Chilly air wrapped around her, ensnaring her senses and thickening her heart all the more. She wasn't a fool and she certainly wasn't going to let them get away with this.

The oncoming storm echoed her emotions as the sooty clouds continued to furiously roll into one another. She never was one to suffer silently and this was no occasion to end tradition. Her destination was visible through the gloomy air, making her protesting feet slow in relief. She really should have taken a carriage over, but her discordant mood urged her tired limbs to take the journey.

Tiny splinters of guilt began to stab as the grandeur of Plumfield loomed before her. Was she making the right decision? Was it fair to trade her depression for another's? She pushed these nagging feelings aside as her milky fingers wrapped round the iron gates, granting herself entrance.

The air seemed to still at her regal presence and an unnerving feeling began to steel her chest. A crudely built swing rocked from a near by tree, the wind carrying the laughter of so many wild boys who shared their youth with the aging bark. A fresh gust whipped her manicured hair, causing whips of royal blond to flitter in her lashes.

As she strode through the front orchard, her gait slowed. The booming voice of indecision blared at her again, questioning her motive and intent. She really should simply turn around and be home again, forget this silly and hurtful nonsense. But she couldn't. She wouldn't let herself forget – not _again_...not anymore. Resolve settled within her once more, and purpose returned to her walk.

Her shoes pounded on the stone steps harshly as she made her ascent toward the stately door. Dainty knuckles rapped against the mighty oak and she stood with baited breath. She knew who would answer the door. She knew it wouldn't be her sister. She knew that because her sister wasn't even at home...not her own home, at any rate. No, she knew exactly where she would find her sister...she knew this because she could always count on finding her there during any spurts of free time afforded her. She was with _him_, of course.

To everyone else it appeared to be harmless socializing, silly games recounted from their youth that they both clung to so desperately...only Amy knew better. Amy knew what she was looking at – everyone else simply stared past the truth, with only the friendly veneer reflecting to their unsuspecting faces. She wished that she could be so easily fooled. She was, once. But once was a long time ago.

Once had turned into many. Many nights spent in restless speculation and suspicion. Many days filled with doubt and jealousy. Afternoons passed in a blur of worry and fear. Mornings beginning with wistful gazes at her quondam love, knowing deep down that he was never even hers to begin with – and realizing that he wouldn't be hers in the end, either.

This burning mass of destructive material fired within her, the flames licking higher and higher. Frigid fury was building it's icy walls, the contrast of fire and ice slamming inside of her, each fighting for it's own glory time.

A kind face greeted her as the door opened in answer to her knock. His smile wilted under her piercing concentration.

"Meeses Laar-enz, are you alright?" Professor Bhaer asked, concern evident through his deep accent.

Amy almost answered with a positive, being so use to automatically appeasing those around her – but this time would be different. She grounded her tumultuous soul for she was just bursting to get this over and done with – no matter the consequences that would befall them all.

"No, Professor. No, I'm not alright, at all...and neither are you."

He regarded her warily, wishing that his Josy-phine were there with him. Though a year of marriage had secured him within the family, and they had all blanketed him with the sweetest kind of love and welcome, he still found himself awkward without Jo.

"Please – come in," he gestured as he opened the way for her. He led the way to the sitting room, motioning for her to make herself comfortable.

Amy looked about, noting that it was uncommonly quiet. Professor Bhaer must have interpreted her silent query for he gave a half smile and responded,

"Ah, it is study time for the wild boys...they will not interrupt anything you haf to say."

A lump began to constrict her vocal chords as it came time to reveal her reason. Her mouth felt like was sewn shut, iron hinges stubbornly locking her jaw. She fidgeted on the sofa, the crinkling sounds of her expensive skirts furthering her vexation. Amy did _not_ fidget – Jo did, but not Amy.

"Please – whatefer you haf to say, it can not be so unpleasant," he prodded gently.

She turned her normally inviting blue eyes on him, but now they were a limp gray. "I'm not quite sure how to say this, but I know that I must," she finally heard herself brake the still, though her voice was faint over her racing heart.

He watched her closely but said nothing. Her gaze darted around the various items of the room, things that Jo had scattered about to make it happier and homier for the boys. There were still various remembrances of Aunt March glaring down at them, but the air was much lighter than when the cantankerous old woman had been mistress.

"Miss Amy – what is it that has you in such a state? Shall I fetch your sister for you?" her manner was disquieting him and he was at a loss at what to do.

"No!" she shouted, louder than she intended. "What I mean is – forgive me, Professor." The thought that this was a mammoth mistake was creeping up on her, soon engulfing her with it's fervor. She stood abruptly, startling Bhaer as he did the same.

"I should be going – I shouldn't have come..." Amy muttered to herself as she wildly looked about. All of Jo's touches were screaming at her, asking her what she was thinking. Berating her for what she was about to do.

"I do not understand." Bhaer stared at her with furrowed brows.

She was almost to the door when she turned around to face her brother in law again.

"I wish I didn't..." she all but whispered, plump tears clinging to her lashes.

Sudden corroboration stretched his features and a foreign darkness assaulted his normally warm orbs.

"I can not pretend to misread your meaning...I confess, it took me a moment to...to know what you refer to..." pain was clouding his face.

"I...I don't," she stuttered. Panic was drowning her. She had made this trip to tell this poor, trusting man all of her conjectures about his wife and her husband. She wanted a partner to wallow with. She wanted someone to unload all of these horrible thoughts and feelings to. Most of all, she wanted so desperately to get even – to show them that she wasn't some silly little squirrel to be ferreted about and batted away upon fancy.

Once she was face to face with the harsh reality of how it would rip and shred everything apart – how it would shatter those she held dearest to her; she had changed her mind. She wanted nothing more than to make a swift exit without uttering a word of the evil thoughts that were battling within her.

But it was too late now.

She was caught in the parlour, immobile before this new member of her extended family. She wasn't sure which of them looked more wretched or more utterly broken.

"I know what it is you are trying to say...about my Jo and your Laurie," his deep voice hitched uncontrollably. "But...they are not really ours. I know this – you know this."

She stared at him, waves of nausea washing over her at the nakedness of his words. So, he did know – he did understand.

"I know – perhaps from the beginning – that little Jo is not for just me. I wanted to belief – but no, it would not work. I know she has belonged to another always. I haf been living in a fool's paradise, as they say," his voice was so forlorn, telling Amy that no, she hadn't been suffering alone.

"You and I, both, Professor," she answered quietly.

The wind rattled ominously outside the large house, matching the jarring spirits within. The grand windows cast checkered shadows over the two, bathing them in the looming darkness.

"I shouldn't have come."

"No, no – you are not to blame." Bhaer attempted a forced smile but it came out as a twisted sort of grimace instead. "Sometimes it is better to talk about somefing that is brewing you...sometimes it is easier to share a burden."

She nodded though she didn't feel any comfort. "What do we do?"

If he hadn't been looking at the owner of the small voice he would have thought it belonged to a fragile little girl.

"We do nofing...but continue to love our own dearly and the best we can."

She watched him through incredulous eyes. "Do nothing? How can you simply stand there, so calm about it? Don't you care? Doesn't it bother you that my husband and your wife spend so much time together? That they are obviously in love with each other?" her tone was growing more and more heated, but she didn't care. She was done with decorum, done with acting the good little wife.

"Of course, I care. I care too much, I think. Too much to let her go...and too much to hurt my little Jo. She needs her Laurie – I need her. I gif her what she needs...no matter if it hurts me."

Her fair brow was wrinkled, her spirits thoroughly beaten. The battered man that stood before her look so tired, so very, very tired. "How can you stand it?"

He regarded her seriously. "I haf no other choice." He ran a calloused hand over his whiskery cheeks, gingerly rubbing at his heavy cares.

"You really love my sister, don't you?"

He nodded, all too aware of the slender girl's transparent pity. "And you really love Laurie?"

She mirrored the acknowledgment.

"I know they love us...they would not be with us if they didn't." It sounded hollow even to his own ears, but he knew it held a certain degree of truth. For neither doubted that their spouses cared for them, they knew they held affection for each; just not the right kind.

"They love us, yes – just not as much as they love each other," Amy replied in a tremulous voice.

"No – not as much as each other, tis true..." he murmured.

"So, we do nothing? We're supposed to simply go on as if everything is right?"

"Yes, we all haf our crosses to bear, as Jo says..." he trailed.

"Yes." Amy's gaze was downcast as her fingers caressed the doorknob in uncertainty. "Please don't tell Jo that I was here..." she said in a wisp of a voice. "Or Laurie..."

"No, do not worry, my little sister..." he watched her sadly. "Next time this is weighing so heafy on your young heart – do not worry to talk to me, yes? We must share a rock with each other, yes?" he asked dejectedly.

"Yes," was her strangled reply. She looked back at him, nodding a mute farewell before slipping out the door.

She quickened her pace, the urgency of flight sweeping her away. The sky was significantly darker now than when she first arrived, and the fear of meeting Jo – or Jo _and_ _her_ Teddy – was biting at her heels, speeding her journey more. The blustering air blew her along, ripening her tempestuous soul to the fullest.

She reached her own home soon enough, effectively shutting out the outside gale with a fervent slam of the door. Discarding her wrap on the hook, she burst into the library, eager to sit alone and think in the familiar confines of her home. She longed to rest her rigid body in her favourite plush chair that Laurie had acquired for her – it was the perfect size and her small frame molded exquisitely when she sat in it. What she didn't plan on were the two people that were already lounged in there.

And Jo was in her chair.

The two were so engrossed in their private conversation that they didn't pay any attention to her arrival – they were lost in each other. Amy watched as Jo threw her head back with a hearty laugh and the bright twinkle in Laurie's mischievous eyes was not lost on her – it was a twinkle that she hadn't seen pointed towards her, ever.

She tried to bury her burgeoning feeling of inadequacy, and jutted her elegant chin high in the air before clearing her throat daintily. Both crowns snapped at the sound and she took a morbid sort of satisfaction at the alarmed expressions covering them.

"Amy! It's so good to see you!" Jo jumped up after only a seconds hesitation, flinging her arms around her sister's thin shoulders.

Laurie stiffly stood but made no other move. Amy plastered a smile for etiquette's sake.

"How are you, my girl?" Jo asked after pulling away, and Amy noted her older sister's cheeks were quite flushed.

"Fine, Jo. I'm tired, though."

"Oh, well then, I'll just be flying out of your hair! I hadn't seen my beautiful sister in a couple of days so I told Fritz that I was coming this afternoon! Imagine my disappointment when I found you not at home!"

"Well, I had an errand to run...anyway, you weren't alone. I'm sure that Laurie was quite hospitable to you."

Jo frowned at her tone but ignored commenting on it's implications. "Well, I don't want to be a bother and I really must be getting back to my boys. I'm afraid they get quite rowdy when I'm away for any periods!" she remarked as gaily as she could.

"Tell your husband that Laurie and I send our love to your family," Amy interjected firmly, and Laurie stared at her strange tone.

"Thank you, I will. Well, I'm off to brave the elements!" Jo laughed as she made her way to the coat stand.

"Oh, no, you're not. I'll drop you home, of course." Laurie stated as he followed her, also grabbing his jacket and heaving it on.

"Nonsense, Teddy. It will be dark soon, and you should stay with Amy anyway. I'll be fine – I'm strong like a horse, remember?"

"Now, don't be difficult with me, sister dear – I _am_ dropping you and that's that. _I'm_ the lord of this house and as you are a guest, and family, I have the duty to protect you and see you home safely. Enough of your back talk, so let's go, there's a good fellow!" He placed his hand on the small of her back, whisking her through the front door and out into the stormy elements.

"Goodbye, Amy! I'll send our pig headed boy back presently!" Jo's voice rang through the air right before the loud snap of the front door reverberated through room.

He didn't even say goodbye.

Her own husband was so eager for any excuse to prolong being with Jo that he didn't even stop to tell his own wife a quick farewell, nevermind leaving her with a departing kiss.

She took a few numb steps, these black thoughts plaguing her. Her body slumped into her chair before she sprung up just as fast. That's where Jo had been sitting – _his_ Jo. She didn't like that chair any longer.

She retired upstairs instead, quickly changing into her nightdress. The time was only barely nearing supper but she didn't care. Amy slipped in between their luxurious sheets, determined to be asleep by the time Laurie returned. It would be easier that way. She wouldn't have to face him so soon after such an upsetting day, and she could let sleep ease some of her discomfort. Though she knew everything would be the same when she awoke. The only thing the morning would bring is a different hue.

As the saying went, they all had their crosses to bear...but why did hers have to be her own sister and husband?

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**Thank you for reading!**

**I hope you review, it would be a very plummy thing to do! After all, who can resist a bit of Jo/Laurie/Amy/Fritz angst, eh wot?**


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